What To Do When You Feel New, Shaky, and Unsure

In this episode, we explore Skill as a core capacity of self-belief, and why confidence isn’t the starting point. It’s the outcome!

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned in my life so far:

I’m not expected to be excellent at everything. I didn’t sign some cosmic agreement with the universe promising perfection on my first try. I’m ALLOWED to be new! I’m even allowed to be bad (😱). And I’m still, always, allowed to try.

So many of us have unspoken rules we carry around trying, learning, failing. It’s even more of a challenge (and can feel deeply disorienting) if you’re used to being capable. Or if you’ve built a reputation for competence, calm, even confidence itself. And then you step into something new - a new role a new version of yourself a new beginning you didn’t entirely choose - and suddenly, everything that used to feel solid feels floaty and terrifying.

In this episode of The 10-Minute Shift, I explore Skill - the second core capacity in the framework I use to help people move from self-doubt into self-belief.

Research shows that one of the most powerful ways to build real confidence is through skill and practice. When we try something, stick with it, and start to see small progress, we send ourselves a powerful internal message: I can handle this. And the more we do this, the more we get the message that we can handle hard things.

So this is great news because skill is buildable. But maybe not so great, because trying to get better at something can sometimes feel bad. BUT, and stay with me here, only if you think that you’re supposed to be amazing at every single new thing you try.

So maybe the answer is to change the way you think? Possible? Abso-f-ing-lutely.

Let’s try a perspective shift.

Instead of telling yourself you need to be an instant expert, or you need to wait until you are more confident (such a common limiting belief) or just “I’m not good at this,” remind yourself → “This is new. I’m not.”

Because you’re not new to trying. You’re not new to learning. You’ve built skill before! You’ve made it through firsts before. This is just another one.

You don’t have to be an expert in something to feel confident. You just need to believe that skill is something you can develop. That mindset - I can get better at this - is what makes people feel more capable, even when they’re still learning.

In this way, confidence becomes less about who you are and more about what you’ve shown yourself you can build.

So if you’re feeling unsure right now - here are three small, grounded ways to build capability and confidence at the same time:

1. Think of one thing you’re good at now that you used to struggle with. Let it remind you: you’ve done this before. You know how to learn. You know how to grow.

2. Master one small thing. Not the whole role. Not the whole business. Just one piece. (Example: say hello to one new person this week. That’s it.)

3. Change your language. Instead of “I’m not good at this,” try → “I’m learning.” try → “This is hard because I’m growing.” try → “This is new, I’m not.”

Questions to Ask Yourself

Where in your life right now do you feel new?

Where in your life are you waiting to feel confident before you take a step? What is that costing you?

What might be possible if you gave yourself permission to try something new without any expectation of being good at it?

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