The Kind of Change That Actually Sticks
This one’s about the invisible stuff. The stuff that makes you self-sabotage mid-goal. The belief behind the behaviour. The thing under the thing.
I know how frustrating it can feel to want to change something in yourself -how you lead, how you speak up, how you handle certain situations - and even when you try so, so hard, it just doesn’t seem to land. Or it lands, but it doesn’t last. Or it lasts, but it was an exhausting torturous grind to get there and you just can’t possibly repeat it.
(how i used to be with exercise 😧)
For a long time, most of what I knew about growth came from corporate learning environments - like sales training, leadership development, really solid programs that focused on how to do things better.
I’d been lucky to have access to a lot of it in my career, and it was really good! It activate my learning nerdiness. There was structure and support and practical advice I could actually use, and I did use it - I even starting running programs in my team because I loved the process of learning & growth.
When I started my coaching - both training and receiving it - I learned something transformational: change wasn’t just about practice, or knowing what to do and just modifying my behaviour to do it. There was something much deeper shaping all of that, under the surface, that was the reason whether something stuck and became sustainable or petered out, making me feel a vague sense of failure.
It’s all about your beliefs!
When I explored this further, I realized that my behaviour was totally driven by my beliefs - things like:
what I thought was safe
what I thought was allowed
what I thought people expected of me
what success needed to look like
what failure meant
whether I was someone who was “good at” certain things or not.
I explore this in the latest episode of the 10 Minute Shift - listen to this episode now.
I still get totally stuck with some of these. This is all happening for each of us, underneath the surface, like the proverbial iceberg, influencing how we show up (and how we don’t).
And I see this with clients all the time. Super smart people who know what to do! They’ve read the books, done the courses, watched the webinars. But something inside holds them back - something that doesn't make sense on paper, but feels incredibly real in the body.
When we get curious about that - when we start to notice the beliefs and protective patterns underneath the stuckness - it’s like the whole system can breathe a bit. You’re no longer forcing yourself to be someone new. You’re creating the conditions to grow into who you maybe already are.
That’s the kind of change I care about and want to help facilitate. The kind of change where you don’t have to overthink every move, because it’s just who you are now. Not because you pushed yourself into it, but because you cleared space for it to arrive. You gave it permission to gently unfold because of course you did, that’s what you believe.
This is what I want to explore in Owning It, the new small group coaching experience I’m opening in July. It’s for women who want to build self-belief - not as a thing you perform, but as something that lives inside you. Something steady and self-generated.
We’ll be working with the invisible beliefs that impact how that shapes what you do, what you allow, what you say yes to, and how you show up in the world.
Send me a message if this feels like something you’d like to explore.
I hope there’s something in this episode that gives you a bit more compassion for whatever change you’re trying to make. It’s not always about doing more! It’s the inner world that needs tending, so that the outer impact can happen.
Thanks for listening.
Amy
P.S. If you’re in a season of change - or you’re bumping up against the same stuck point over and over and you’d like some support as you figure out what’s really going on underneath, I’d love to hear from you! I offer 1:1 and group coaching for people navigating change and growth. Email me at amy@uplevelme.com to learn more. ❤️
