How Adaptability Is Your Secret Weapon In Building Super Strong Self-belief
Part 5 of the Self-Belief Series where I unpack research-based tools, levers and practical strategies for building confidence from the inside out. This week is about adaptability.
Hello beautiful humans,
Ok so you know that feeling when you've planned everything perfectly down to the last detail, and then... the universe starts laughing and things change. Your presentation gets moved to tomorrow, the project scope changes completely, the client you’ve been pitching leaves the company, or that thing you've been working toward for months shifts direction entirely.
When this happens you have two choices:
you agonize over the circumstances and try to control, control, control (been there)
you pivot, shift, adapt, dance through the moment and let your inner adaptability shine
goal: be like Randall
Life never goes according to plan (it would be so boring if it did though right?) – and that's exactly why adaptability is one of the most crucial ingredients in building rooted, grounded, internal (not external) confidence.
Adapt or the ability to be adaptable is one of the seven core capacities in my Self-Belief System, and it's fundamentally about responding instead of spiralling when life inevitably throws you those gloriously challenging curveballs.
When I worked at Twitter when Elon Musk bought the company, it was about as chaotic as you can imagine. I 100% didn’t show up perfectly, there were times when I found it really, really hard to adapt to the constant change in circumstances and strategy. But that was all I was able to do. It was a lesson in what I can and can’t control. I couldn’t do anything but adapt.
The Confidence Trap We All Fall Into
I hear this all the time in my coaching practice: "I'll do [insert scary thing here] when I feel more confident." "I'm just waiting to feel ready." "Once I know exactly how this will go, then I'll move forward."
And here's where I will lovingly call bullshit.
Confidence built on certainty is actually not confidence at all – it's just the illusion of control, which makes you feel safe. Authentic, inner confidence is knowing you can handle whatever comes your way, even when you have no idea what that might be.
Why Adaptability is Your Secret Weapon
Interesting fact that I found when I was researching this podcast episode:
Adaptability has a higher correlation to long-term success than IQ.
So ok, it’s important, but what is adaptability? And why does it matter for confidence?
It’s the ability to shift your perspective, strategy, or behaviour when something around you changes. It's about responding instead of reacting. It's about staying true to yourself while letting the world change as necessary.
Adapt is the difference between meeting unexpected moments with presence versus getting knocked off centre and losing your footing entirely.
And this is so important in building a grounded inner sense of confidence because when you trust that you can meet whatever comes without falling apart, then rejection, feedback, and unexpected changes lose their grip on you. You stop living in fear and you start trusting that you can handle it, whatever it is.
Listen to the full 10 minute episode here.
The "Even If" Practice That Changes Everything
One of my favourite ways to build this adaptability muscle is something I call the "even if" practice. It goes like this:
Even if this doesn't work out the way I planned, I'm still someone who learns.
Even if this project gets completely shifted, I'm still someone who adapts.
Even if I feel scared, I'm still someone who shows up and tries anyway.
This practice helps you separate the outcome from your identity. Because you're going to be you regardless of what happens. The circumstances might change, but your core self stays steady.
Some Practical Ways to Cultivate Adaptability
Name What's Happening: When plans change, don’t make it personal. Instead, try this: "This is a change. This wasn't what I expected, but it's not a personal failure, and I can deal with it."
Create Space Between Trigger and Response: This is where the magic happens. When something unexpected occurs, give yourself permission to pause. Take a breath. Step away if you need to. This creates a window where you can choose your response rather than just react.
Practice the Pause: Literally. Practice slowing things down. Whether you're in a meeting that takes an unexpected turn or dealing with feedback that shifts your entire project, that pause is everything. It's the difference between reacting from a place of panic and responding from a place of presence.
Reflect on Your Resilience: Think back to times when you've successfully adapted before. What got you through? What strengths did you draw on?
Why This Matters for Your Self-Belief
When you develop your capacity to adapt, you're essentially telling yourself: "I trust you to handle whatever comes up."
You’re saying, you trust that you'll figure it out as you go, knowing that your worth isn't dependent on everything going according to plan.
Your confidence (and resilience) grows every time you prove to yourself you can handle the unexpected. You’ll be fine regardless of what happens because you know that you’re someone who can adapt. How liberating!
Your Practice This Week
Pay attention to moments when plans change or things don't go as expected. Notice:
What's your first reaction?
Can you create a pause before responding?
What would it look like to respond from a place of curiosity rather than wanting to control or react immediately?
Remember: you don't have to be perfect at this. There is no such thing. The goal isn't to never feel shaken by change. The goal is to build awareness, and to gradually trust that you can be shaken AND still move forward with purpose and intention.
Warmly,
Amy
P.S. If this resonated with you, you might enjoy exploring the other capacities in my self-belief framework. Each one builds on the others - check out the other episodes here.
